Hey all,

Today embarks the first day of my journey.
I put 1 euro for the week!! jeeeej

Here is how my journey has been going:

Saving and not buying snacks

so.so.so.so.so HARD! I am not doing a good job at it at all.
why? I get hungry. I somehow convince myself that this time it is okay and somehow justify why I need this chips right now, like so bad.

Hello everyone,

How are you all doing?

I need to start saving.

I am currently 18 and I want to get some braces.
Making money is very difficult for me, especially since I live in a country with an unemployment rate of around 40 % percent. Yikes.
Sooo I have to still do it.........
How do I plan on doing it you may ask...
Here is how:
Save 1 euro per week. That equals to 52 euros per year.

In order to achieve this new goal of mine, I will have to be consistent and give up on a lot of things.
I want to record the process here so I feel more pressured to actually do it.
"The best predicator for future behaviour is past behaviour". I said this sentence today to refer to one of my friends. Me and my sisters were talking about our weight and my sister mentioned how a friend I am meeting today will surprise me since I will see how much weight she has lost.
I highly doubt it, I said to her. I have been around this friend for long enough to know that she does not follow through. She does not follow through her plans, like ever.
So I highly doubt she will have lost weight. I will see today and will update you. (she hasn't lost weight lol:) )
Anyhow- I started seeing how this relates to me. I am not someone who always follows through either. In fact, I *rarely* follow through.
I always leave things midway which is why I am so scared to start this new journey.
But, I have to. I MUST. I have to change.
See ya tomorrow!

Hello beautiful people of the worrrrrrrrrrrrrld,
what's popping?
lol okay I need to calm down.

Today I started my first JOB ever!
Yes, you heard it right, ladies and gentlemaaaan. I am officially an adult!
Now, because I am a memory hoarder I will describe how  that went for me
I started working at a call center.

Hello everyone,

There are so many things that come to mind, so many things on my mind that I frankly don't know where to start.
However, as you can guess it from the title the two major "themes" if you may on my life so far are Time Management and Insecurities.
Let's start with Time Management

Time Management:

I am really bad at managing my time. It is very hard for me to focus in just one thing. Thus, every time I create a schedule I don't even believe that I will follow through. And, for the most part, I don't. For one reason or the other. You want to be productive but there are so many distractions. One thing that has been added to my distraction list recently is the fact that I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing. For example if I'm studying I just find it so pointless. So pointless because in the next month, I know I will not remember a thing. This constant search for meaning makes it so hard to focus. What if instead what I'm doing now, I could be doing something more meaningful?
Maybe I should just stop searching for meaning. I find it so selfish. There is this obsession with purpose in my day and age, but maybe there is no such thing. At least, not for everyone. I don't know.
______________________________________

Insecurities 

I turned 18 this week and woohoo just like that I am an adult.
I do not like this at all. I feel this instant pressure to be more responsible and somehow I feel more judged. About everything; my looks, my skills, my choices.




________________________________________
The Solution

I think I should chill. Seriously. Not chill as in don't do anything but chill as in stop overthinking everything. Do your best everyday. Sometimes the best you can do is a little thing all day. So be it. Allow yourself to feel, just don't be defined by your feelings.


Thank you for reading,

till next time

xoxo

1.College

2. Projects and Extra-Curricular Activities

3. Vulnerability

4. Music and Creativity

5. Goals for my 18 year old self

• invest your time in good relationships

• create a better work routine

• keep pushing your limits and getting out of your comfort zone

• pick up a new skill, and practice enough to get better at it

• ALWAYS remind yourself that failing does not mean you're a failure just like succeeding doesn't mean you're a big shot. You are a human, who fails and succeeds.

• spread love

• pay more attention to yourself, your emotions and aspirations

• don't be afraid to speak your opinion

• don't be afraid of thinking too big

Hey everyone,

I really think about change every single day. It is something quite crazy to think about.

When I left for an exchange year, one and almost-a-half year ago I knew my life was about to change. And because I really didn't have much experience on change I was not scared at all. I was just so happy and excited. People would ask me " OMG, you are going there by your own? Without your family? Aren't you going to be scared?" and my answer would always be no. I think it was that way because I had NO idea what was waiting for me lol.

I have realized that change is HARD. Changing the way you think, the way you behave and the way you talk to people was pretty challenging to me during my exchange. However, it was not like a had a choice.
Because I was living in a really small circle back home, the only thing challenging for me was grades!
I had everything else sorted out. I mean, I was not growing as a person I was just very comfortable with what I had and enjoyed it. But, the problem with being comfortable is that you know you are comfortable. And that makes you mad. At least, that's how it was for me. I always felt like I wasn't reaching high enough and there should be something more *still do*. So, because I needed to grow I remember finding my friends boring. lol. Like, I was so ready for a change. And the exchange was JUST that. I guess this was another reason why I was so happy about it.

Life in the U.S. was different. And, I mean completely different. Which is why, at times it was very overwhelming for me. It was like being re-born, only you were 15 and had to take responsibility for your actions. Being a stubborn person did not help the situation at all. I would totally not consider myself close-minded I am very open-minded but just very stubborn, (lol hopefully you get what I mean) which is why, if I thought something was right, it was so hard for me to accept any other view on what's right, or even consider it. And, not gonna lie that did get me into some trouble!
Living in the U.S was very uncomfortable for me, but in a REALLY good way. I miss being that uncomfortable everyday *sigh*.

I love the U.S for what it's taught me. I would love to go to the U.S knowing what I know now.
That reminds me of having some tips for future/current exchange students. Okay here you go

1. LISTEN TO WHAT THEY TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR EXCHANGE YEAR

So, before I was an exchange student we had  orientations, 2 of them where they( the tutors, teachers) taught us all kinds of stuff about what's gonna happen during the year. And guess what? They were RIGHT! For the most part, anyway. If you don't have an orientation then talk to someone who has been an exchange student, or write to me here on the comments. I would love to help. You just have to listen. Because WE know what we're talking about. We have been on your shoes. lol. But seriously it's true!
I remember learning about the American Values and one of them was being on time or punctuality. And I was like yeeeh, sure whatever I got this idc. You have to care, okay. It's for your best. Because of that, and because I am totally not a morning person I had problems about not being on time, for pretty much the whole year. Now, I am not saying that the only reason I had problems about that was because I didn't know it was important to be on time, however you HAVE to apply what you know if you want a successful year. This relates to change. You have to do it if you want success.

2. MAKE A LIST OF PRIORITIES

What is important for you and your exchange year? What do you want to accomplish? What can you do everyday to accomplish that?. Just answer these questions. Your "goal" on what to accomplish should not be like that big. It can be "I want to have a REALLYY good relationship with my host parents and host community." So you work on that. It can be "I want REALLLY good grades". Whatever that makes you feel good. So what I'm trying to say is, KNOW WHAT IS IMPORTANT. Don't waste your time on unimportant things. I have such BIG regrets for not making this list. I can only imagine how much better everything would have been if I would prioritize and not care so much about meaningless things. If you catch yourself  prioritizing something like "What does this guy think of me" while it says on your list of priorities to prioritize something completely different, then stop and think. Why have I thought about this all day? Is this really important? Chances are, it's not. Trust me (lol).

3. BE OPEN TO CHANGE

Change is going to be present. I can promise you that. Even little things that you did differently in your country are going to be different  on your host country. So ACCEPT that and MOVE ON. If you feel like you just can't change the way you do something, then TALK to your host family.


I have so much more to say about this topic but it's getting late so I'm just going to end it here.

Exchange is amazing, and it is mostly what you make out of it.




Here's a picture that shows a one year difference in me.
The first picture was taken almost exactly one year before the second one.
These two pics inspired me to make this blog post!
Pics from October 2014 and October 2015.

xoxo

Malsore