There are so many things that come to mind, so many things on my mind that I frankly don't know where to start.
However, as you can guess it from the title the two major "themes" if you may on my life so far are Time Management and Insecurities.
Let's start with Time Management

Time Management:

I am really bad at managing my time. It is very hard for me to focus in just one thing. Thus, every time I create a schedule I don't even believe that I will follow through. And, for the most part, I don't. For one reason or the other. You want to be productive but there are so many distractions. One thing that has been added to my distraction list recently is the fact that I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing. For example if I'm studying I just find it so pointless. So pointless because in the next month, I know I will not remember a thing. This constant search for meaning makes it so hard to focus. What if instead what I'm doing now, I could be doing something more meaningful?
Maybe I should just stop searching for meaning. I find it so selfish. There is this obsession with purpose in my day and age, but maybe there is no such thing. At least, not for everyone. I don't know.
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Insecurities 

I turned 18 this week and woohoo just like that I am an adult.
I do not like this at all. I feel this instant pressure to be more responsible and somehow I feel more judged. About everything; my looks, my skills, my choices.




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The Solution

I think I should chill. Seriously. Not chill as in don't do anything but chill as in stop overthinking everything. Do your best everyday. Sometimes the best you can do is a little thing all day. So be it. Allow yourself to feel, just don't be defined by your feelings.


Thank you for reading,

till next time

xoxo